Is it August already? It feels like an age has passed since I wrote to you. Back in July, I was meant to leave my job, rent out my flat and fly to San Francisco to spend 3 months with my boyfriend who lives there. I had been planning the trip since January, and the idea was to get to know the US and the state of California ahead of hopefully applying for a visa once back in the UK and making a permanent move in 2021.
The Covid-19 happened.
The borders to the USA shut, and I was trapped. At first, I wasn't worried, I fully subscribed to the power of positive thought and visualised myself out there, with him, on the 21st July. Time ticked on and I went through all the motions of tying up loose ends at work, packing up my life and preparing to go spend 3 months exploring and working on ideas for the future. As you may have seen, I wrote several articles in the media about what it has been like being in a long-distance relationship at this time (you can read one in Glamour here and Refinery 29 here) and I was feeling sure that things would sort themselves out.
But as the weeks went by I got more and more stressed and anxious, and from the end of June, I sort of hit a mental road block. I was in limbo, couldn't move forward, couldn't more back. I stopped writing this blog and almost lost interest in my huge plans for the future as I couldn't see ahead of me. On Friday 17th July, what would have been my last day at work, I finally had to admit defeat and cancel my fight to get a voucher I could use at a later date. I had to then move out of my home that weekend back down to my parent's house to make way for the tenants I had signed a contract with back in May. Thankfully my job was amazing and let me stay on, and I had my parents to go to or I would have been unemployed and homeless that weekend. Fun huh! Not the incredible California summer I'd been dreaming of.
Since moving back home, I have felt a lot less stressed but my creative juice and motivational drive has been drained dry. I still feel like I'm in limbo and it is taking me a while to figure out how to move forward whilst also standing still, waiting. As everyone in the world knows, uncertainty is horrible and we are all living with it right now as we wait for an end to this unbelievable situation we find ourselves in.
Work-wise, there is still a lot of uncertainty about when I'll be leaving and understandably they will need an official 'end date' from me soon even though I still have no idea if/when I'll be able to go. I am hoping mid-October...maybe...? But really it's anyone's guess. But today, I am going on holiday to relax and reset. I will be spending 6 days in Cyprus, my home from home since I was 12 years old I cannot wait to just switch off, recharge. Flying might be a bit scary, but I am armed with masks, anti-bac gel and wipes and a negative Covid test (a requirement for flights to the island) so get me on that plane.
I will hopefully be back raring to go with fresh ideas for content and a rejuvenated mindset. Probably a bit fatter too due to all the pitta bread and rose wine, but I'll take that as a worthy bargain.